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Sep. 14th, 2010 | 06:27 pm
mood: blankblank

I can't believe I haven't posted here in over a year. Fantastic job, self.

Things that have happened since then:
-Gained all my weight back. I'm back on track now, or at least I'm trying, so hopefully I can start losing again. At the very least I'm feeling motivated.

-Fell into a deep depression again/fought with suicide ideation again. I'm hoping I can have another reprieve from that now. It's exhausting, and I don't know if I can handle another year of this.

-I've started coming out as a lesbian. It's been difficult, to say the least. There's still the fear and paranoia about family and friends finding out, but I'm trying my best not to let that stop me. I came out to Kenny (someone who I surprisingly care a lot about) and he was wonderful and really helped me feel better about the whole thing. I'm not sure if I'm coming out now because I'm braver now, or if I've just gotten so desperate for a legitimate relationship. Actually, I'm confident it is the latter.

-Finally was able to go to the doctor. It was terrifying, but I got through the exam and I'm on pills. Gonna be asking for a different strength in a few months though, when I go back for a checkup. I'm upset I didn't ask for it initially.

I've found out my cousins, aunt, uncle, and my father's father are all coming over in a week or two. This is going to be a disaster.

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(no subject)

Jul. 18th, 2009 | 03:32 am

Failing so hard at keeping of books. Of course, I'm failing at reading right now anyway, so I guess it's a wash.

#6
Sellevision
Augusten Burroughs

I liked it. Not as good as his others, of course, but I still really enjoyed it.


#7
The Eyre Affair
Jasper Fforde

Decent book. I think it could have been way better. There are more, it's a series, so I think I'm going to go ahead and check those out.

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(no subject)

Apr. 5th, 2009 | 12:10 am
location: couch
mood: depresseddepressed
music: Gogol Bordello - Not a Crime

I fail so hard at keeping track of my books. I'll just write down the ones I can remember right now.

#2
The Name of the Rose by Umberto Eco
Fucking amazing. I want the library like nobody's business.

#3
American Gods by Neil Gaiman
Decent book -- great concept. I still think the internet overrates Gaiman.

#4
Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman
I loved the characters in this.

#5
Inkheart by Cornelia Funke
So much potential for an amazing story wasted.

I have at least a dozen more but I can't think straight right now. It seems like everyday I'm just waiting for Jeff to talk to me. I'm hopefully watching AIM. It's pretty pathetic. Well, almost as pathetic as writing on an LJ nobody watches.

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Killing an Arab

Jan. 11th, 2009 | 11:02 pm
location: Couch
mood: contemplativecontemplative
music: TV: The Fugitive

I still have to gather and record the other books I've read, but I want to keep good track of the books I read in 2009.

#1
The Stranger by Albert Camus.

It was an all right book. Famous, at least, and of course that means it must be read. Interesting in some parts, and I'm still conflicted on how I feel about the main character. Which is a good sign; I'm being made to think. At least a little.

A lot of this book reminded me of Paul. Upsettingly fitting that it should.

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I have too many hangups

Dec. 6th, 2008 | 03:50 am
location: couch
mood: depresseddepressed
music: Barack Obama-sistible

he said (3:28:12 AM): u leave me empty too often
he signed off at 3:28:17 AM.
he signed on at 3:36:07 AM.
he said (3:36:20 AM): sry
I said (3:36:30 AM): it's all right
he signed off at 3:36:36 AM.

Apparently being emotionally constipated is NOT a turn on. Go figure.
Of course I was also reading conversations from Paul:
the person will eventually vanish... like I generally do
I feel like crying.

I have a lot of books to add. Should make a list first before I attempt to post, so I'll update in a bit with them.

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What I'm reading

Oct. 9th, 2008 | 02:00 pm
location: Couch
mood: blankblank
music: Soap Opera

One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
A Dirty Job by Christopher Moore
Select Plays by Sophocles
The Good Earth by Pearl S. Buck
Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut
Weird History 101 by John Richard Stephens
Twilight by Stephanie Meyers
New Moon by Stephanie Meyers

I've realized that Garcia Marquez has overtaken Steinbeck as my favorite author. Read all of his books and then get on your knees and thank whatever divine power you believe in for granting you the extreme privilege of existing in a time that you are able to read his works. Should there be an absence of belief in divine power, thank your science.

A Dirty Job is one of Moore's better books, second only to Lamb. Moore is one clever motherfucker.

I read The Trachinian Women and Oedipus Rex. You either like this type of writing or you don't. If you do, you've already read them; if you don't, there's no way I could convince you.

The Good Earth was enjoyable because I'm a fan of multi-generational stories that follow a family or a town.

Slaughterhouse-Five is a classic. Again, you most likely already know if you like Vonnegut.

I suggest skipping Stephens's work and instead look at specific and narrow books of historical incidents that you would like.

Don't judge me for Meyers. I know. I ignored the whole phenom for such a long time, and then the internet blew up. I had to know if she is as bad as I have heard (this happens all of the time, if someone says a book sucks, I have to read it). She is.

There are probably more, but I'm not remembering.
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In which I post

Oct. 5th, 2008 | 07:20 pm
location: The couch
mood: restlessrestless
music: King of the Hill

So, it's a Sunday night and I'm sipping wine, waiting for some awesome snack food to be ready, and browsing the internet.  Why isn't this as good as it sounds?

Because point one; I hate wine.  I keep trying to appreciate it, but every single time I take a sip, I involuntarily shudder.  This happens on every occasion I try it.  I visibly, embarrassingly, shudder at the taste.  It's awful.  Now, if I had some Jack and Coke?  Then tonight would be perfect (if we're ignoring the fact that I'm underaged and drinking alone).  Point two; I need to stop eating like shit.  But, fuck it, one week won't hurt me and I don't think getting back on track is going to be very hard for me.

On some notes that are even more bitter than this Argentinian wine; I still have no bedroom, and no job.  Sharing a room and sleeping on the couch is extremely impractical and isn't helping in getting me stable.  Ah well.

On a sweet note, I have two job interviews this week.  One I really want, and another I hope I get rejected from.  I am also no longer contemplating taking my life, so fuck yeah.  Things aren't all bad.

I have many many more books to list, but I'll have to go through the library and find them all so I don't have to make separate posts or update.

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What I'm reading

Jun. 14th, 2008 | 10:31 pm

I've been trying to get back into pleasure reading. I've always read an absurd amount, but for too long now I've only read the required reading for school work. So in the last five days I've tried to satiate my cravings for lit by grabbing six books and well... Reading. So, in order by date finished;

The Silmarillion by J. R. R. Tolkien
You Suck: A Love Story by Christopher Moore
The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove by Christopher Moore
The Stupidest Angel by Christopher Moore
Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides
The Hobbit by J. R. R. Tolkien

I won't give a full out description of them, since google would be better suited for it then I would.  But I do absolutely recommend them.  Well, for some people, anyway.

The Silmarillion I recommend for the sheer scope. It's short but dense, and if you love history like I do, and are a Tolkien fan, then dammit, this is a godsend.

Gee, can you tell I enjoy Christopher Moore?  I recommend Moore for being an author with an uncanny ability to lull the reader into a sense of relaxation and then sucker-punch him/her with either absurdity or something deep you weren't expecting. I've never seen someone write one-liners so well.  These books are light and fun, and shouldn't take anyone very long to read.  I do, however, strongly suggest reading his book Lamb before moving onto his other novels.  That one cannot even be compared to the others.  It's just unbelievably good.

Middlesex
is an interesting novel. The writer is good, extremely good, in fact, at conveying exactly what message and feelings he wants to impart to the reader. I believe this book was chosen by Oprah for her bookclub, which would explain why my mom had it laying around, and shouldn't be judged too harshly by it being on her list :P

And The Hobbit is adorable and required for reading before I do The Lord of the Rings again.
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