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Sep. 14th, 2010 | 06:27 pm
mood: blankblank

I can't believe I haven't posted here in over a year. Fantastic job, self.

Things that have happened since then:
-Gained all my weight back. I'm back on track now, or at least I'm trying, so hopefully I can start losing again. At the very least I'm feeling motivated.

-Fell into a deep depression again/fought with suicide ideation again. I'm hoping I can have another reprieve from that now. It's exhausting, and I don't know if I can handle another year of this.

-I've started coming out as a lesbian. It's been difficult, to say the least. There's still the fear and paranoia about family and friends finding out, but I'm trying my best not to let that stop me. I came out to Kenny (someone who I surprisingly care a lot about) and he was wonderful and really helped me feel better about the whole thing. I'm not sure if I'm coming out now because I'm braver now, or if I've just gotten so desperate for a legitimate relationship. Actually, I'm confident it is the latter.

-Finally was able to go to the doctor. It was terrifying, but I got through the exam and I'm on pills. Gonna be asking for a different strength in a few months though, when I go back for a checkup. I'm upset I didn't ask for it initially.

I've found out my cousins, aunt, uncle, and my father's father are all coming over in a week or two. This is going to be a disaster.

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